I'm worn out. I'll admit it - life is getting frustrating. It's just that things keep piling on. I don't even know if having Trey at home instead of the hospital right now would make it much easier. It's almost a nice "get away" right now if that makes any sense. The washing machine stinks. Yes, we have one of those front loaders. I hate it. It's so much work. I dry out the rubber gasket every time, I dump the water out of the detergent drawer and we empty out the filter down below religiously. Yet, it is now stinking. I even bought Smelly Washer Cleaner and Smelly Towel Cleaner and yet, it still stinks! I hate that not only do I have a ton of laundry to do... but by the time I'm done, the clothes don't even smell clean! I don't have the time to troubleshoot my washer. Plus... the cycle is an hour long cycle. So one load of laundry takes almost 2 hours to wash and dry. That's a long time!
Then, I come home tonight and the fridge is making an awful noise. We don't have the time to go looking for one right now... and if it goes while T is in the PICU, I guarentee you... I will lose it. I can handle a fridge on it's last leg... I just can't handle a broken one right now!
The basement is not getting painted and finished before Thanksgiving now and who knows what will happen with the backyard (the grading is totally off right now and when it rains we get a pond... seriously, it's so bad that when I was pregnant with Trey I had dreams that we had sharks and alligators living in the backyard eating the local dogs - really, my dreamworld can be way interesting!). Even if T was home right now, gosh... doing all of this and 3 boys just seems so overwhelming at times.
Ok, with getting all of that off of my chest... I realize that I need sleep. When I'm tired I just start thinking of everything that needs to be done. What I should do is just GO to sleep! Off to do that now....
Update (11:48 pm) - see, I also then realized the dishwasher keeps getting some mold in it - so we probably need a new one of those too. Yes, mold. Can we all say a collective... ewwww! Yes, disgusting. But see, if we get new kitchen appliances we should get all new ones to match. But, if we have new appliances... we really should get decent counter tops to so that we get the right appliances to fit with them. If we get new countertops, I really should look into getting the cabinets refinished. See how that snowballs?! But not only do we not have the time to do all of that, I don't have kids that shop (at all... really, it's a nightmare to take them to a store!). So for right now we'll be living with stinky laundry, a loud fridge and a dishwasher that is just plain nasty at times.
Ok - see what I mean?! My mind just goes on and on and on... ugh, oh yeah, wait... I totally forgot about the termite damage that we have (all cosmetic) to fix. The holes they have created have now just turned into decoration. Ok - for those who all know me, there will soon be a spreadsheet to keep track of all of this....
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
Update (next day) - I kept going back and forth about keeping this post up or not. I decided to leave it up so I can look back on this all and remember what we were going through and how my mind was thinking about things. Although - it does kind of make it sounds as though we're living in a dirt hole - our house is really not that bad. I'm just really, really picky about thing. The mold in the dishwasher was because we didn't run it in a few days while I was in the hospital and it was just a few little spots. I clorax wiped it down and it's fine. Just the thought of mold in my dishwasher really grosses me out though.
I also thought to keep it up so you can see that I'm not holding things completely together! Thank you so much still for the prayers for Trey and my family.
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